Will Your New Relationship Last? Early Warning Signs of Danger Ahead


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Will Your New Relationship Last? Early Warning Signs of Danger Ahead

Being in a new relationship is a fun time filled with passion, joy and hope for the future. Unfortunately, the happiness of your new relationship can sometimes cause you to ignore signs of trouble.




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If you see any of these characteristics in your new relationship, put your guard up. These problems can be solved but only if you are willing to take a hard look at them. If you don't, your relationship could be doomed before it has even truly begun.
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1. Your expectations are unrealistic.

You've dreamed of your fairytale romance, and now it seems to be coming true. This person is perfection, exactly what you've been waiting for, and you know that your life together will be roses and sunshine.
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It's wonderful to be happy about a new relationship, and it makes sense to enjoy that time to the fullest. Just be aware that everyone has faults, and everyone makes mistakes.
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You might not be able to imagine it right now, but you will go through difficult times. You will not always agree, and sometimes the other person is going to let you down.
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Save yourself some heartache by recognizing that your partner isn't perfect. That way you'll be prepared when you discover that you are both flawed human beings.
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2. You are dishonest with each other.

You may tell yourself that you want to get to know your partner better before revealing your secrets, but starting a relationship with dishonesty is a terrible idea.
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If you believe that your relationship has long-term potential, you have a responsibility to disclose the details about your life.

Whether you're hiding a past relationship, a criminal record, financial problems or something else, you owe it to your partner to come clean as soon as possible.
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3. You've given up other people and activities.

A loving relationship is often the focus of your life, but it shouldn't be your entire existence. When you're in love, it's natural to want to spend every minute together. However, there is danger in giving up time with friends and family.
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Even if you're dating someone special, continue to make time for activities that you've always enjoyed. If you give too much up for your partner, you are going to end up resentful.
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4. You compare your partner to your ex.

Every dating relationship is different because the two people involved are individuals. You cannot expect your partner to behave like your ex, nor can you allow yourself to get anxious when your partner does behave like your ex.
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If you love someone, you have to see that person as a unique creation. You cannot compare that person to your ex or compare your relationship to one you once had. This is new, and it's original. Don't poison it by bringing in old baggage.
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5. You don't like your partner's family.

Fighting about family can be devastating to a relationship, so it makes sense to get along in any way possible. If you don't like one or more of your partner's family members, ask yourself why.

Consider whether or not you are being too sensitive and if there's a way to ignore the behavior you dislike.
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Have a positive, cheerful attitude with your partner's family even if you have to fake it. And never ask someone to choose between you and a family member.

6. You see the relationship progressing at different speeds.

If you are secretly shopping for wedding rings while your partner is still introducing you as a friend, trouble is ahead.

Two people often have different comfort levels when it comes to moving a relationship forward, and that can lead to conflict.

Try to understand your partner's needs in this area, and talk about your feelings. Ideally, you will come to a consensus about how quickly your relationship should be moving.

7. One of you makes the decisions.

Because opposites do tend to attract, one member of a couple is often more decisive than the other. This is fine as long as both partners are respecting each other and are sensitive to the other's needs.
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If you are making all the decisions just to get what you want, you may find your partner resenting you over time. Decisions made in a relationship need to work for both people. If one person makes all the choices, both of you may end up dissatisfied.

8. You don't trust your partner.

If you are suspicious when your partner claims to have worked late or spent time with friends, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Committing to someone requires trust, and you will make yourself crazy if you second-guess everything your partner says.

If the person has lied to you in the past, it's going to take time to rebuild that trust. If your partner hasn't given you a reason for the distrust, you need to find out why you are feeling this way. Were you hurt by a previous partner? Did your parents have a dishonest relationship?

Figure out why you don't trust your partner, and work to build your faith in each other.

9. You have different core values.

No two people see life in exactly the same way, and it's okay to disagree with your partner. However, if your values are absolutely in conflict with each other, that's going to create long-term problems.

For example, if you and your partner can't discuss politics without getting into a fight, or if religion is very important to one of you and completely meaningless to the other, that's going to be a source of disharmony one day. Think carefully about whether your differences are deal-breakers.
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10. You plan to change the other person.

Many people go into a relationship thinking they'll just change what they don't like about the other person. This just doesn't work.

If you keep thinking that your partner is perfect except for that one little flaw, ask yourself if it's something you can live with. Chances are that your partner is not going to change.

The truth is that most relationships start out wonderful and end badly. You can save yourself some emotional pain if you identify your problems early. That way you can either make the choice to go your separate ways or you can intentionally focus on fixing potential problems.

Don't let the first sparks of love blind you from reality. Be smart, and you could be building a relationship that will last the rest of your life.

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